“Life is very long when you’re lonely” makes it’s disembodied way out of my record player and truer lyrics have never been penned. I’ve never been a fan of Valentines Day but seeing all the sickly posts on social media have made me wish that I was with my wife this weekend. It’s been over two months since we last had time together and the days have gone so slowly since then. Of course when we are actually together time rushes past with all the subtlety of Big Ben. Thinking about our next trip has me thinking about flying, what is it about flying that brings out the inner asshole in everyone?
From having more carry on bags in their hand than a refugee fleeing a disaster zone to rushing like woodlice disturbed from under a log to get in front of everyone else, people lose the ability to think about others as soon as they arrive at the airport. My personal favourites are those who want to board first despite the fact that they are sat at the front of the plane. Who wants to spend more time in a narrow aluminium tube? Then there are the people who recline their chairs fully and then complain when the back of your knees touch it. Sorry that I’m over four foot tall dickhead!
When I’m flying I try to make sure that my actions don’t impact anyone else- from requesting an aisle seat as I like to stretch my legs to not having a shave in the toilet when there’s only two toilets on the plane. One flight I was unfortunate enough to sit next to an overweight man who smelled like the very bowels of hell and filled his seat like he’d been poured into it. I’m pretty sure there’s been sardines in a can with more room than the space he left me. So fingers crossed I’m never on the same flight as him again! I was fortunate enough on my last flight to the US to have three seats to myself on a half filled plane so lets hope for similar success next time.
The other thing that irritates me about flying is the costs. For my next flight to the US the breakdown is as follows…
So it would appear that the UK government is taxing me about £110 for a flight which is a nice way of penalising those in a long distance relationship, could you call it a tax on love? I know that the cost is supposedly a tax on the carbon footprint of the flight but is there any evidence that the money raised is being used to offset the carbon footprint of my flight? No. Politicians don’t care of course because they get their flights on expenses, I’m pretty sure if they were paid closer to the UK average wage and couldn’t claim expenses these taxes would drop faster than Kerry Katona’s knickers. I do care about the environment but I just wish the government would admit that they don’t and that passengers are just being seen as a cash cow. Something to think about the next time you are pricing up a flight online…