An Open Letter to Hershey’s

Dear Hershey’s,
I was disgusted to read last week that you have threatened legal action against companies importing British Cadbury’s into the United States causing them to cease importing British chocolate. This is ridiculous; your Cadbury’s doesn’t taste like the real Cadbury’s, British people don’t buy it so you are not losing any sales. British people are not going to replace decent chocolate with something that tastes like vomit and leaves an awful aftertaste that a cough medicine manufacturer would be proud of. What’s more, we are not going to buy any of your other disgusting products to compensate. If you learnt how to make Cadbury’s properly it wouldn’t be as much of an issue; here’s a tip the main ingredient should be milk (the name is Dairy Milk, get it?) not sugar.

What’s even worse is that to add insult to injury you have banned other British chocolate too, including the British made Kit Kat. Apparently a Yorkie bar is too similar to a York Peppermint Patty (whatever the hell that is) and the Toffee Crisp is also banned from import because it has orange packaging just like Reese’s. Really?! Do you think consumers are that dumb? What next, are you going to ban mistletoe at Christmas because it infringes on those vile tasting lumps you call Hershey’s Kisses? Or are you going to ban stock cubes because you have now made yourselves a laughing stock? Congratulations on creating common ground between us and the Irish though, it took a few hundred years but Irish expats are pissed off about this too.

We Brits are a peaceful people; we like to form orderly queues, to talk things over with a cup of tea, to mutter under our breath rather than be confrontational. But banning our chocolate is a step too far. As a nation we like our chocolate (okay the Toffee Crisp is a bit crap but it’s better than most of your products) and we don’t like to be pushed around by a multinational company. I must confess I quite like your Reese’s and in the past I have bought Reese’s Ice Cream and peanut butter cups on a number of occasions. But here’s the deal: until you stop making legal threats to companies importing British chocolate I won’t touch any of your products and I know plenty of other expats who are going to be boycotting your products too. There are plenty of other chocolate manufacturers out there. Your ridiculous legal threats have already cost you sales.

Cheerio
A rather pissed off Brit.

Angry British and Irish Expats; you can find the contact details of Hershey’s and also details of a Petition here: http://www.anglotopia.net/british-identity/british-food/brit-food-british-sweets-banned-usa-hersheys-usa-petition-details-inside/

runner

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18 thoughts on “An Open Letter to Hershey’s

  1. Mmm. Protectionism. Hadnt you heard of it before you immigrated? They did it for Quorn too. Fact of life in America. Very nasty set of ethics. I don’t even like Cadbury”s chocolate, but still, those tactics stink.

    Too late to complain when you have bought into—the other—good old red, white, and blue …

      1. I think it was too much like some American meat-free product. Can’t remember if the notional objection was about the fact it was derived from fungal spores (the mycoprotein, yes?) and was being promoted as mushroom-based because it sounded more attractive. The story is on wiki or somewhere. I probably wrote about it at one point on one of my blogs.

        Can you get Green and Blacks in America?

  2. You appear to be living in some sort of satirical future world where corporations are in charge and the public are seen as moronic consumers of stuff without…oh, wait…

    Not to rub it in, but the opposite has started here with British Cadbury’s being imported rather than the stuff they make in Malaysia. It’s more like brown cheese that stuff.

  3. I saw this on Facebook yesterday and thought “uh-oh, Tom’s going to mad in more ways than one”.

    Kraft… what we can we say about them? No wonder the Cadbury’s employees in Bristol protested for weeks on end before Kraft closed the factory.

    I can see there will be a time for a necessary black market in illicit chocolate trading. Oh yes, cocoa will be like ummm… powdered gold and a bar of 85% Lindt will go for millions of dollars per bar. Time for a quick trip home to Blighty so you can start your illicit underground chocolate empire.

    1. Luckily Lindt is readily available over here and its one of my go to options when I can’t get Cadbury’s. I can see a future where every expat has a suitcase full of chocolate when they visit home!

  4. It’s not just in America- have you heard about what Kraft are doing to Cadbury’s creme eggs over here in the UK!? Not only are we paying more for less chocolate, we’re paying more for lower-quality chocolate. This doesn’t sit well with a raging chocoholic like me!

  5. American here; came over from Anglotopia. I agree–Hershey’s sucks. I quit eating their chocolate a long time ago. Now, when I make delicious s’mores, I use German chocolate from ALDI. In fact, I should stock up on that too, as long as I still can. Who knows what they’ll go after next!? 😛

  6. Pingback: Things I Don’t Understand About America | Old England to New England

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